Tuesday, June 29, 2010

In the Spirit of Zombie-Luv

I've been seeing some amazing flash pop up for Mari Blaser's Zombie-Luv contest.  Rules and details here. While I do love writing zombies, and I love "luv", I've been forced to crack the whip on myself, and eschew anything other than what I'm working on (and through) at the moment.  So - in the spirit of the contest, I provide some assistance to the love-lorn ghouls out there by way of resurrecting this little piece from the crypts of MicroHorror. (Note - I'm going to let Mari know about this posting, but am not using the "official" pic and description here, out of fairness to those that are giving it their all with new material.

Personal Ads After the Zombie Apocalypse


Women Seeking Men

NEW in TOWN
Back-to-earth party girl just “staggered” into town last week, and is
looking for a guy who knows his way around. Show me farmhouses, shopping
mall, bomb shelters etc. I want to be “where the action is!” If this sounds
like you, respond to
millingabout@loveaintdead.com.

Hey big boy.
Petite blonde looking for my Teddy Bear! I love a man with lots of meat on
his bones! Facts up front – missing one arm, (my ex kept it!!) But you’ll
never notice once we meet! Respond to
hungrymama@loveaintdead.com.

Nothing gonna stop me now!


Except a giant case of the “lonelies!” Are you my soul mate? Looking for
love that, like me, can outlast gunfire, stabbing, drowning and being set on
fire. Must love cats. Respond to
tuffgirl38@loveaintdead.com.

Men Seeking Women

Are you “The Smart Girl”????????????


Then I want to talk to you! Looking for a girl with a BIG BRAIN for walks
on the beach, long talks and maybe more. Short hair a plus. Respond to
yumcranium@loveaintdead.com


My heart is yours.
Literally. Willing to send it ahead of our first date. It’s actually falling out a bit
already. Looks not important. Respond to g
apingchestwound@loveaintdead.com.

WANT BRAINS
BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.
BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.
BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS. BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.BRAINS.

No smokers.

Respond to
brainguy@loveaintdead.com.

Missed Connections

LAST TUESDAY on the SUBWAY


You – a pretty redhead, early 30’s, wearing a green striped blouse and
carrying a burgundy handbag.

Me – ate your spleen and your right hand. Please contact me when you’re up
and around. I think we could have some fun. Respond to
laststop@loveaintdead.com

10 comments:

  1. Haha, fantastic Chris! Thanks for spreading the word about the Zombie Luv Contest and for the fun micro fic. :)

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  2. Chris, I read this earlier today and it still makes me chuckle. Nice work, mate.

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  3. It's a good thing I put my coffee down before I read these. yumcranium and "No Smokers" were way too funny. :D

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  4. Thanks Mari. Glad you enjoyed, and weren't upset at me for straying off the path.

    David and Laurita - thanks guys. "No Smokers" made me laugh when I wrote it.

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  5. Since this isn't officially part of the contest I can leave you a comment. HAHAHAHA. Loved this. You've got a slight bizarro touch to your work. COOL.

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  6. Thanks Jodi - having the author of "My Little Carnivorous Pony" call ME "bizarro" is saying something!

    Glad you liked it.

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  7. "Looking for love that, like me, can outlast gunfire, stabbing, drowning and being set on
    fire."

    Isn't this what we all want? This is a unique spin on the zombie craze. Love it.

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  8. Must love cats...after being set on fire. ROFL!!! love that one.

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